DougC 2,641 #1 Posted August 31, 2016 (edited) Besides driving the tractor on the highway, the most useful and enjoyable thing a party hardy red neck can do is get the ironing board that we all have stored in the closet behind the 12 gauge double barrel shotgun out and get it ready for the holidays....... no turkey emoticons??? Here are just a few ideas....... I always ask the relatives to bring their own ironing boards and beer and sleeping bags, bed roll or cot as well. The out house is always fully stocked with Sears and JC Penney catalogs. And if the indians set the telephone poles on fire, get ready for a great old time!!! Bring the camera! Edited August 31, 2016 by DougC 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elcamino/wheelhorse 9,116 #2 Posted August 31, 2016 You forgot about using the ironing board as a platform to stand on when a chair is too short. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DougC 2,641 #3 Posted August 31, 2016 Our family uses the encyclopedia Britannica stacked up and saves the ironing boards for the possum and noodle casserole..... 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squonk 39,135 #4 Posted August 31, 2016 14 minutes ago, elcamino/wheelhorse said: You forgot about using the ironing board as a platform to stand on when a chair is too short. That only works if you put the chair on top of the board! It doesn't work the other way around! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 52,196 #5 Posted August 31, 2016 1 hour ago, DougC said: out house is always fully stocked with Sears and JC Penney catalogs. On line catalogs; desk top, lap top, I pad or Smart phone? That could be messy! 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squonk 39,135 #6 Posted September 1, 2016 Richard! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevasaurus 22,273 #7 Posted September 1, 2016 HAPPY SEPTEMBER EVERYONE. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wishin4a416 2,189 #8 Posted September 2, 2016 Always kept an all metal one at camp for a Fillet table. Worked great except for the really big ones. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DougC 2,641 #9 Posted September 2, 2016 The all metal ironing board top makes a super fast toboggan for winter fun and broken bones! No control or steering at all..... What red neck would't be proud to be seen flying down a snow covered hill passing all the guys sliding down on old car hoods!!! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevasaurus 22,273 #10 Posted September 3, 2016 @DougC So that is why you built your house on the only hill in Iowa. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DougC 2,641 #11 Posted September 3, 2016 Yup Steve.... A bunch of beer drunk red necks going what seems to be 50mph down a steep Iowa snow packed hill on metal Turtle waxed ironing board tops, out of control heading straight for the timber at the bottom of the hill screaming WATCH THIS!!! I'll call ya with the date and time once we get a good snow pack. I have extra ironing boards and plenty of Bactine and Band-aids and beer!!!! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevasaurus 22,273 #12 Posted September 3, 2016 I just happened to have my very own ironing board. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squonk 39,135 #13 Posted September 3, 2016 Gotta get a couple of those apartment size mini boards and tie them together like a pontoon boat. Car hoods are ok but you better cut the latch off so you don't get something caught in it when you fly off! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JimD 3,345 #14 Posted September 4, 2016 59 minutes ago, stevasaurus said: I just happened to have my very own ironing board. You also have your very own bum hip.. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squonk 39,135 #15 Posted September 4, 2016 We can make a snow flyer out of that ladder too! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ohiofarmer 3,158 #16 Posted September 7, 2016 We don't need no stinkin' catalogs in our outhouse. We use corncobs. After some complaints from our guests, we were forced to print some signs that state the proper use of the corncobs. 1. On the first wipe, use a RED corn cob. You can go with or against the grain, but against the grain get's 'er done faster 2. Now use a WHITE corn cob to see if you need to use another RED corn cob 3, The hand sanitizer provided for your convenience is NOT to be used with the corncobs. We had a city slicker do that last year and his exit from the outhouse put Usain Bolt to shame 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
