CRF857 1,261 #376 Posted yesterday at 01:01 AM (edited) Prototype Tesla Edited yesterday at 01:02 AM by CRF857 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wallfish 20,717 #377 Posted yesterday at 01:25 AM A Chinaman goes to see the eye doctor... After the exam the doctor said, "I know why you're having trouble." The Chinaman says, "why?" Doctor said, "you have a cataract." Chinaman says, "no, I have a Rincoln Continental." 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,980 #378 Posted yesterday at 03:07 PM Eye doctors dilate (die late). Eye doctors skip tape measures because they're great at eyeballing Eye Doctor had a patient complaining of a stabbing eye pain during coffee, doctor advised him to Take the spoon out of his coffee mug. Optometrists and teachers both spend their time testing pupils. A smartphone was wearing glasses because it lost its contacts. 1 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
c-series don 12,591 #379 Posted yesterday at 06:19 PM @953 nut Lets not forget the ole Eyecrometer 👁️ for the precise measurements 😂 1 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CRF857 1,261 #381 Posted 20 hours ago I wonder if there is a lot “c”. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CRF857 1,261 #385 Posted 20 hours ago Remember when we used to laugh at the commercial on TV “I’ve fallen and I cant get up”? Well, it is not so funny any more … The lady said she got banned from Weight Watchers for dropping a bag of M&Ms on the floor. She said it was the best game of “Hungry Hippos” she has ever watched. What did the DNA say during the conversation –“Do these genes make me look fat?” What are the worst IQ test results? When they come up negative… Why cant you trust atoms?? Because they make up everything. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine… What do you call the wife of a hippy? Mississippi … What is the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted. I started to sleep in the fireplace, now I sleep like a log. If you think I am annoying now, imagine if I could play the banjo! 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dan 312-8 630 #386 Posted 19 hours ago 1 hour ago, CRF857 said: Yes indeed! And our neighborhood had the first remote controlled TV... Me! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,869 #387 Posted 18 hours ago Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster, reduces depression, reduces anxiety and helps you to live longer. Until they start to snore & fart in their sleep. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handy Don 17,615 #388 Posted 1 hour ago 18 hours ago, CRF857 said: I wonder if there is a lot “c”. If it occurs to you to ask, are you eligible? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,980 #389 Posted 1 hour ago 19 hours ago, CRF857 said: We had three channels but changing from one to another required someone going out to turn the pole mounted antenna. somehow that became my job, not too bad in the summer but in the winter I was quite satisfied with the two channels that would work with the same antenna position. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,980 #390 Posted 1 hour ago 17 hours ago, Achto said: Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster, reduces depression, reduces anxiety and helps you to live longer. Until they start to snore & fart in their sleep. I didn't know you had been listening to my wife sleeping. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,980 #391 Posted 1 hour ago 19 hours ago, CRF857 said: I wonder if there is a lot “c”. According to St. Augustine— "the church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints." The bible verse that this is based on is : Mark 2:17, where Jesus says: "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. Lot C is reserved for people who think their sins aren't bad enough to need God's forgiveness. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,980 #392 Posted 56 minutes ago A newcomer looks around a packed church service and whispers to the usher, "Wow, there are a lot of good people here today." The usher chuckles and whispers back, "Oh, don't let the nice clothes fool you. This is just a massive support group for the spiritually clumsy." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,980 #393 Posted 52 minutes ago What kind of milk comes from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. What's a sea monster's favorite lunch? Fish and ships. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-i-gator. Why are pigs so bad at sports? They always hog the ball. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
