953 nut 69,240 #53 Posted August 24 Why did the cabbage win the race? Because it was ahead! 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,667 #54 Posted August 26 Every married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. 9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #55 Posted August 26 What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CRF857 1,083 #56 Posted August 26 (edited) Edited August 26 by CRF857 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #57 Posted August 26 Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SylvanLakeWH 32,488 #58 Posted August 26 You can call me anything you want, just don't call me late for dinner... 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #59 Posted August 26 What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? He got a hot-diggity-dog! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,667 #60 Posted August 27 (edited) What did the groom say after he spent $500 to rent a limousine, then realized he had to hire the driver separately? “I spent all that money, and I have nothing to chauffeur it.” Edited August 27 by Achto 1 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #61 Posted August 27 What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows? Udder nonsense! 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CRF857 1,083 #63 Posted August 27 A pun walked into a bar. Ten people immediately died. Pun in, ten dead. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #64 Posted August 28 Who tells chicken jokes? Comedi hens! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,667 #65 Posted August 28 Marriage is like a deck of cards. At first, you need two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you just want a club and a spade. 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #66 Posted August 28 Where do farmers send their kids to grow? Kinder-garden. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CRF857 1,083 #67 Posted August 28 22 hours ago, CRF857 said: A pun walked into a bar. Ten people immediately died. Pun in, ten dead. A local radio station had a pun contest. A guy really wanted to win. He submitted ten puns. None of them won the contest. No pun in ten did. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #68 Posted August 28 What grows under your nose? Tulips! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,667 #69 Posted August 29 My son asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #70 Posted August 29 What new crop did the farmer plant? Beets me! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #71 Posted August 30 What kind of pigs know karate? Pork chops! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,667 #72 Posted September 1 I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me, "Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace." So, I'm going to get her nothing. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #73 Posted September 1 What new crop did the farmer plant? Beets me! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,240 #74 Posted September 1 If a cow laughed really hard.... would milk come out of her nose? Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,667 #75 Posted September 2 When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
