953 nut 69,219 #277 Posted Tuesday at 11:50 PM A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, "Do you have any luggage?" The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light". 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CRF857 1,063 #278 Posted Tuesday at 11:54 PM What concert cost just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CRF857 1,063 #279 Posted Tuesday at 11:57 PM Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side. Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies. why don’t fish play basketball. They have issues with the net. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,665 #280 Posted yesterday at 12:01 AM (edited) What if Stacy's Mom was Jessy's girl & her number was 867-5309?? Sorry if your too young to get that. Edited yesterday at 12:10 AM by Achto 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adsm08 5,135 #281 Posted yesterday at 12:34 AM (edited) 32 minutes ago, Achto said: What if Stacy's Mom was Jessy's girl & her number was 867-5309?? Sorry if your too young to get that. Then I'd jump off my shrimp boat and swim to shore to meet her. Edited yesterday at 12:34 AM by adsm08 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,665 #282 Posted yesterday at 10:02 AM A duck walks into a tavern and orders a beer. The bartender thinks "Wow, a talking duck," and pours him a beer. The bartender asks "I don't think I've seen you in here before. Do you live in the neighborhood?" The duck says "No, I live across town. I'm a drywaller, and I'm working the office renovation across the street. I just dropped in for a beer before going home for the day." The bartender, while trying to imagine how a duck handles drywall, asks "Well, how is that drywall job treating you?" The duck says "Well, as you know, this isn't a union town. The pay isn't that great, but it pays the rent and keeps me in duck food. I get along with the other trades, so I guess it's O.K." The bartender says "I have a friend who runs a circus. Would you like to talk to him about a gig with the circus? The duck said "That's ridiculous. What would a circus want with drywall?" 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,219 #283 Posted yesterday at 12:06 PM Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,219 #288 Posted 3 hours ago Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,665 #289 Posted 2 hours ago So I was out having beers with the boys the other day . . . The wife calls and says, "If you're not home in ten minutes I'm feeding the dinner I cooked to the dog!" I was home in five minutes! I'd hate for anything to happen to that dog. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,219 #290 Posted 2 hours ago I was buying a big bag of dog food at the store, and the teenage cashier asked, "Is this all for you, sir?" I replied, "No, it's for my dogs." 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
