DAD JOKES

[CRF857 1,037]

[953 nut 69,197]

• A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, "Do you have any luggage?"
•  
•  
• The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light".

[CRF857 1,037]

What concert cost just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickleback.

[CRF857 1,037]

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

 

Where does the general keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

 

why don’t fish play basketball.

They have issues with the net.

[Achto 32,656]

What if Stacy's Mom was Jessy's girl & her number was 867-5309?? 

 

Sorry if your too young to get that.

Edited 13 hours ago by Achto

[adsm08 5,135]

32 minutes ago, Achto said:

What if Stacy's Mom was Jessy's girl & her number was 867-5309?? 

 

Sorry if your too young to get that.

 

Then I'd jump off my shrimp boat and swim to shore to meet her.

Edited 13 hours ago by adsm08

[Achto 32,656]

A duck walks into a tavern and orders a beer.

The bartender thinks "Wow, a talking duck," and pours him a beer.

The bartender asks "I don't think I've seen you in here before. Do you live in the neighborhood?"

The duck says "No, I live across town. I'm a drywaller, and I'm working the office renovation across the street. I just dropped in for a beer before going home for the day."

The bartender, while trying to imagine how a duck handles drywall, asks "Well, how is that drywall job treating you?"

The duck says "Well, as you know, this isn't a union town. The pay isn't that great, but it pays the rent and keeps me in duck food. I get along with the other trades, so I guess it's O.K."

The bartender says "I have a friend who runs a circus. Would you like to talk to him about a gig with the circus?

The duck said "That's ridiculous. What would a circus want with drywall?"

[953 nut 69,197]

Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed!