Achto 32,596 #201 Posted Monday at 10:11 AM Two idiots go on a fishing trip They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their holiday, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home, they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us $1,500!" The other guy says "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!" 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,983 #202 Posted Monday at 06:14 PM What did the periodic table say to the chemist? "I've got my ion you." 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,596 #209 Posted yesterday at 10:13 AM A man and his friend were fishing by the river when a funeral procession approached. The man stood up, took off his hat, and waited for the procession to pass, and sat back down. His friend said,"That was very respectful of you, very nice." The man then replied,"Well we were married for 40 years." 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,983 #210 Posted 23 hours ago The graveside service had just ended when there was a frightening clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning accompanied by even louder thunder. The little old man looked at the pastor and said calmly, “Well, she’s there.” 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,596 #214 Posted 1 hour ago I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?" "No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied. "Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked. "No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive." "Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked. "Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!" "Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting." 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
