953 nut 68,950 #177 Posted yesterday at 12:00 AM A man walks into a mechanic's shop late at night. Man: "Can you help me? I think I'm a moth." Mechanic: "I'm a mechanic. You need a psychiatrist." Man: "Yeah, I know." Mechanic: "Well, why did you come here then?" Man: "Your light was on." 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,950 #179 Posted yesterday at 01:19 PM Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,950 #185 Posted 16 hours ago What is the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,569 #186 Posted 16 hours ago How do you get a farm girl to like you? A Tractor 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,950 #187 Posted 16 hours ago Why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being a-moo-sed! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,569 #188 Posted 3 hours ago (edited) A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with Mom and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message." "Well," said the farmer uncomfortably. "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant". The boy thought for a moment, then says, "You'll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $100 for the bull's service and $60 for the bore pig's service, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard." Edited 3 hours ago by Achto 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adsm08 5,087 #189 Posted 3 hours ago 15 hours ago, CRF857 said: Hey! I resemble that. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adsm08 5,087 #190 Posted 3 hours ago 13 hours ago, Achto said: How do you get a farm girl to like you? A Tractor Well yeah, Kenney Chesney told us that years ago. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,950 #191 Posted 2 hours ago 43 minutes ago, Achto said: "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant". I posted a much longer version of that one about a week ago. Worth a repost. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,950 #192 Posted 2 hours ago What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn? 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites