953 nut 68,953 #177 Posted Saturday at 12:00 AM A man walks into a mechanic's shop late at night. Man: "Can you help me? I think I'm a moth." Mechanic: "I'm a mechanic. You need a psychiatrist." Man: "Yeah, I know." Mechanic: "Well, why did you come here then?" Man: "Your light was on." 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,953 #179 Posted Saturday at 01:19 PM Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,953 #185 Posted Saturday at 10:53 PM What is the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus! 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,573 #186 Posted Saturday at 10:56 PM How do you get a farm girl to like you? A Tractor 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,953 #187 Posted Saturday at 11:11 PM Why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being a-moo-sed! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,573 #188 Posted 14 hours ago (edited) A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with Mom and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message." "Well," said the farmer uncomfortably. "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant". The boy thought for a moment, then says, "You'll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $100 for the bull's service and $60 for the bore pig's service, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard." Edited 14 hours ago by Achto 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adsm08 5,101 #189 Posted 14 hours ago 15 hours ago, CRF857 said: Hey! I resemble that. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adsm08 5,101 #190 Posted 13 hours ago 13 hours ago, Achto said: How do you get a farm girl to like you? A Tractor Well yeah, Kenney Chesney told us that years ago. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,953 #191 Posted 13 hours ago 43 minutes ago, Achto said: "No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant". I posted a much longer version of that one about a week ago. Worth a repost. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,953 #192 Posted 13 hours ago What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn? 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
John2189 601 #196 Posted 5 hours ago 7 hours ago, CRF857 said: What about 7/16” wrenches and sockets? 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
adsm08 5,101 #197 Posted 3 hours ago 2 hours ago, John2189 said: What about 7/16” wrenches and sockets? Those are 11mm. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,573 #198 Posted 3 hours ago Old McDonald had a farm... 2.71828 √(-1) 2.71828 √(-1) (5-5) It's OK if you have to look it up to get it. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SylvanLakeWH 32,373 #199 Posted 2 hours ago 14 minutes ago, Achto said: 2.71828 √(-1) 2.71828 √(-1) (5-5) Old man Euler's Place is just around the corner, 2.71828 miles past the 0 mile marker... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handy Don 17,413 #200 Posted 2 hours ago 28 minutes ago, Achto said: Old McDonald had a farm... 11 minutes ago, SylvanLakeWH said: Old man Euler's Place Ooooh. Math folks. Logs and everything. Gonna go hunt for my K&E slide rule. 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
