Achto 32,326 #76 Posted September 2 Wife: “Do you think our kids are spoiled?” Husband: “No, I think most kids smell that way.” Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.” 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
C100guy94 125 #77 Posted September 2 On 8/26/2026 at 6:08 PM, CRF857 said: My wife's moto. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,448 #78 Posted September 2 What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,326 #79 Posted September 3 If it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,448 #80 Posted September 3 What do farmers use to make crop circles? A Pro-tractor 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,326 #81 Posted Friday at 10:15 AM When my wife says, "I'll do it later," I know it means 'after I finish this episode, or season, or series." 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,448 #82 Posted Friday at 11:48 AM What farm animal keeps the best time? A watch dog! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,326 #83 Posted Tuesday at 11:47 AM My wife and I always compromise: I admit I'm wrong, and she agrees with me. 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SylvanLakeWH 32,116 #84 Posted Tuesday at 12:00 PM 7 minutes ago, Achto said: My wife and I always compromise: I admit I'm wrong, and she agrees with me. Mrs Sylvan says you are very wise... I told her what about your questionable choice of friends... She gave me the look... So i compromised... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,448 #85 Posted Tuesday at 12:16 PM What day do potatoes hate the most? Fry-day! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handy Don 17,304 #86 Posted Tuesday at 12:17 PM 16 minutes ago, SylvanLakeWH said: I told her what about your questionable choice of friends... I don’t want to question my spouse, but she thinks highly of my “tractor friends.” 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,448 #87 Posted Tuesday at 11:43 PM 11 hours ago, Handy Don said: I don’t want to question my spouse, but she thinks highly of my “tractor friends.” She probably doesn't know us very well probably should keep it that way. 1 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,326 #88 Posted 18 hours ago (edited) Most people don’t like horse jokes, so I’m going against the rein. I love a good horse pun, but then I’m a little unstable. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. Why are horses such bad dancers? They’ve got two left feet. I put a bet on a horse to come in at 10 to 1 – and it did! Unfortunately all the others came in at 12.30. Edited 18 hours ago by Achto 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,448 #89 Posted 16 hours ago How to Buy a Horse Ethan walks into a barn with a farmer to buy a horse The horse is laid down in some straw. After giving the horse the once-over Ethan says, "This horse hasn't got any shoes on." The farmer replies "Well he hasn't got up yet. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Horsin'round 482 #90 Posted 9 hours ago On 9/8/2026 at 7:47 AM, Achto said: My wife and I always compromise: I admit I'm wrong, and she agrees with me. Always remember, you can be right, or you can be happy! 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,448 #91 Posted 5 hours ago Hillbilly Knows Best A hillbilly farmer from back in the hills walked twelve miles, one way, to the general store. 'Heya, Wilbur,' said Ron, the store owner. 'Tell me, are you and Myrtle still making fires up there by rubbing stones and flint together?' 'You betcha, Ron. Ain't no 'tother way. Why?' 'Got something to show you. Something to make fire. It's called a "match". 'Match? Never heard of it.' 'Watch this. If you want a fire you just do this,' Ron says, taking a match and striking it on his trousers. 'Huh. Well, that's something, but that ain't for me, Ron.' 'Well, why not?' 'I can't be walking twelve miles every time I want a fire and borrow your trousers. 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handy Don 17,304 #92 Posted 4 hours ago Lumber sales guy asks the apprentice carpenter shopping for lumber how long does he want the 2x4’s. Apprentice says “a long time, we’re building a house" 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beap52 2,434 #93 Posted 3 hours ago Although this is not a dad joke, it's one of my wife's favorites and it's more of a "got ya" joke: When Pam is around someone with whom she thinks she can pull this joke on she'll talk about her "dog vein". She rubs her neck as if feeling her dog vein and asks if the person, if he/she wants to feel her dog vein. Once the person places their finger on Pam's dog vein, she immediately growls and snaps at the hand like a dog. Catches unsuspecting persons off guard and they pull their hand back rather quickly. So far, I never seen anyone slap Pam for this prank. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
