76c12091520h 4,282 #26 Posted Friday at 05:08 PM Three 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,078 #27 Posted Friday at 11:32 PM Why did everyone invite the MUSHROOM to their parties? He is a FUNGI. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EB-80/8inPA 2,078 #29 Posted yesterday at 02:57 AM I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me... Until I rode pasta. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,078 #30 Posted yesterday at 11:26 AM An old farmer was walking down the path to the pond when he spotted a bullfrog. He reached down and grabbed the frog and started to put him in his pocket when the bullfrog said, "Kiss me on the lips and I will turn into a beautiful farmers wife." Again the old farmer started to put the frog in his pocket. The frog asked, "Didn't you hear what I said?" The farmer looked at the frog and said," At my age I'd rather have a talking frog." 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,078 #31 Posted yesterday at 11:29 AM Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing! What do you call an arctic cow? An eskimoo! What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar! What do you get when you cross a garden with an Elephant? Squash! What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer. Farmer: "Why can't you make bread like my mother?" Wife: "Why can't you make dough like my father?" Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pony! Doctor: Don't worry, you're just a little hoarse! 1 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,229 #32 Posted 22 hours ago I have not said a word to my wife in over a year. I figure it would be rude to interrupt. 1 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SylvanLakeWH 31,963 #33 Posted 22 hours ago 2 minutes ago, Achto said: I have not said a word to my wife in over a year. I figure it would be rude to interrupt. Brave brave man... 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,078 #34 Posted 21 hours ago What did the farmer get when he crossed an owl with a goat? a 'Hootinanny' Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar? He wanted sweet and sour pork! What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows? What a miss-steak. Who takes care of the farm when the farmer is sick? The farmacist (pharmacist). Why did the lamb call the police? He had been fleeced. Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle! How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down. What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? Laughing stock. What grows when fed but dies when watered? Fire. What do you give a sick horse? Cough stirrup! What do you call a dog on the farm? A Corn Dog. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ineedanother 2,731 #35 Posted 20 hours ago There are two kinds of people in the world today: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data 1 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SylvanLakeWH 31,963 #36 Posted 20 hours ago (edited) Actually, there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't... Edited 20 hours ago by SylvanLakeWH 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handy Don 17,141 #37 Posted 19 hours ago 1 hour ago, ineedanother said: There are two kinds of people in the world today: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data Very subtle but excellent! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CRF857 460 #38 Posted 15 hours ago four/thirds of the people in the world don’t understand fractions. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ineedanother 2,731 #40 Posted 15 hours ago When I heard that oxygen and magnesium were hookin' up I was like, OMg! 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,078 #41 Posted 15 hours ago What is a horse's favorite sport? Stable tennis! 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,078 #42 Posted 14 hours ago What type of horses only go out at night? Nightmares! 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EB-80/8inPA 2,078 #43 Posted 13 hours ago 6 hours ago, SylvanLakeWH said: Actually, there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't... Did you hear the one about the non-binary gold prospector? They dug a fortune out of them/their hills. 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 68,078 #44 Posted 1 hour ago Why were the baby strawberries crying? Their ma and pa were in a jam. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
