953 nut 69,104 #4 Posted August 18 (edited) Edited August 19 by 953 nut 2 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SylvanLakeWH 32,455 #5 Posted August 19 My wife rearranged the spice rack labels... I haven't told her yet but the thyme is cumin... 1 3 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
c-series don 12,420 #6 Posted August 19 Keep em coming! I love this kind of stuff! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CasaytheMann 265 #7 Posted August 19 If Apple made a car, would it have Windows? 2 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CasaytheMann 265 #8 Posted August 19 “If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?!” 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CasaytheMann 265 #9 Posted August 19 “What’s black and bad for your teeth? A bowling ball.” 1 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CasaytheMann 265 #10 Posted August 19 What do you get when you put ducks in a cement mixer? Quacks in the concrete! 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,620 #11 Posted August 19 (edited) What do you call a well balance Horse? Stable Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent. What is the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "Any idea how to drive this thing?" What did the drummer name her twin daughters? Anna 1,Anna 2 Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? They lactose. I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? If they had four, they would be chicken sedans! I am on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days. Edited August 19 by Achto 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 69,104 #13 Posted August 19 (edited) What does a man have that; is somewhat ridged, somewhat flexible, has the following letters in its spelling, S I N E P ? ? ? ? SPINE What did you think I was spelling? Edited August 20 by 953 nut 9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,620 #14 Posted August 19 (edited) It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house. The difference is staggering. Edited August 19 by Achto 10 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bar Nuthin 3,154 #15 Posted August 19 (edited) Q: Why do SCUBA divers always fall out of the boat backwards? A: If they fell forwards, they'd land in the boat! Q: Do you know why, when geese fly in a V formation, one side is always longer that the other? A: There are more geese on that side. Halloween bonus joke... A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Give me a beer and a mop." Edited August 19 by Bar Nuthin 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squonk 48,056 #16 Posted August 19 (edited) I drive my son nuts with "Dadisms " My favorite is " You can't spoil a rotten egg! " Another one stolen from Yoga Berra when we are deciding where to eat: "No one goes there anymore. It's too crowded." Edited August 19 by squonk 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dan 312-8 617 #19 Posted August 20 (edited) These are all like your typical farmer. Outstanding in their field! Edited August 20 by Dan 312-8 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EB-80/8inPA 2,116 #20 Posted August 20 How did the farmer stalk his ex? He tractor. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CasaytheMann 265 #21 Posted August 21 Stephen King has a son named Joe. I'm not joking, he is. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Achto 32,620 #23 Posted August 21 Today I decided to lunges in order to stay in shape. It's a big step forward. 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SylvanLakeWH 32,455 #25 Posted August 21 How many licks? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
