Oh no; Not that.

[953 nut 63,252]

December twenty seventh is a day some dread, National Fruitcake Day!

Indulge in variations of a classic cake from all over the world or compete to see who can fling this fruit-packed favorite the furthest.

Fruitcakes— we’ve all seen them in the movies or grandma’s kitchen. The heavy and dark cake that looks like it went through seven stages of baking and sounds like a fist thumping against a wooden table when set down on a surface.

Yet, there is a day made for it. That’s right, this day is called National Fruitcake Day and it’s made for the celebration of the cake that we all seem to find synonymous with a brick.

 

 

[ebinmaine 75,997]

Excellent Carson bit. Obviously all true and not the least bit fabricated or exaggerated. 

 

I tried fruitcake. Once. Probably 40 years ago. 

[SylvanLakeWH 29,972]

19 minutes ago, ebinmaine said:

I tried fruitcake. Once. Probably 40 years ago. 

I did too. It's still sitting in my digestive tract... 

[rmaynard 16,712]

I am a bit bummed this year. In all of our haste to prepare for Christmas, we forgot to order a fruit cake. A good fruit cake is one of the best desserts of the season. 

[953 nut 63,252]

2 minutes ago, rmaynard said:

one of the best desserts of the season.

I have had one good fruitcake, the rest were a big letdown.                  Leftover buttermilk biscuits with honey is the best in my opinion.

[rmaynard 16,712]

2 minutes ago, 953 nut said:

I have had one good fruitcake, the rest were a big letdown. 

 

The best fruitcake by far is a Jane Parker. They used to sold exclusively by A&P food stores, but since A&P went the way of many good markets, they are now sold online. Our favorite is the dark fruitcake. Terribly expensive nowadays.

[Ed Kennell 43,899]

 Chilled, sliced thin, and a spoonful of honey.   

[rjg854 12,662]

A spoonful of honey makes the fruitcake go down   

[rmaynard 16,712]

41 minutes ago, Ed Kennell said:

 Chilled, sliced thin, and a spoonful of honey.   

Mrs. M does not like the Claxton these days. It's gotten to be very sparse on the fruit and nuts for the money. We also miss my late Aunt Helen. She would start making fruit cakes in October. She's wrap them in cheese cloth and store them in the root celler. She would periodically go down and pour a little rum, brandy, or bourbon on them. By the time the holidays got here they were perfect. 

[squonk 44,958]

My wife would get a fruitcake every year form an older lady she helped. We hate it but she hated to throw it out. I told her I knew who to give it to. The place I worked at had a parts guy with a 65 Caddy. That car had more junk in it than most folks attic. I put that fruit cake in the back seat and buried it under a bunch of junk. I figured some rat would gnaw on it when that car finally made it's way to the junkyard. Well a couple of days later I hear him talking to somebody and saying that someone left a fruit cake in his car and he really enjoyed it!  

Edited 6 hours ago by squonk

[Razorback 1,208]

There really IS such a thing as "good fruitcake". I'll need to find my mother's old recipe......

 

Along the same lines, she used to make a "lemon Christmas cake" that was basically a nice pound cake with nuts and candied fruit, and dates, I think...... then soaked with as much brandy as it could possibly hold without puddling. What an awesome concoction! Could NOT bring it out if there was an open flame, though.

[Treepep 946]

5 hours ago, rmaynard said:

Terribly expensive nowadays

 

Well yer paying by the pound!

[8ntruck 8,388]

My dad's office Christmas present to employees every year was a fruit cake, so I kind of grew up on them.  The cake was about 10" diameter with a hole in the middle.  Kept our family of 5 in deserts well into February.

 

When I got married, a fruit cake showed up at one of the inlaw's Christmas Eve gatherings.  Whoever got it snuck out and stashed it in somebody else's car. 

 

The next year, that fruit cake showed up again decorated as the 'ultimate Tacky Christmas gift'.  It had a Chia Pet Christmas tree attached.  For several years, that fruit cake kept showing up at various family gatherings decorated appropriately for whatever the occasion was - building on the existing decorations it already had.  Over the years, it acquired a troll head, a grim reaper's scythe, a cape, a miniature mink stoll, it broke once, so it was duct taped together, it got varnished to 'preserve' it, and it was stuffed into the middle of a very inexpensive plastic wreath.

 

Then all of a sudden it stopped showing up at gatherings.  One of our nieces fessed up, saying that she had forgotten that the fruit cake was in the trunk of a car she had sold.

 

We all got a good laugh imagining what the reaction of the new owner of the car had when they discovered the 'gift' in the trunk.