If you can not sleep at night, it is usually because you are awake. I hope this helps.
If I am sent to jail my wife will get me out. She never lets me finish a sentence.
Doing nothing is extremely difficult, you never know when you are done.
A dentist will say “You are brushing wrong.”
A nutritionist will say “You are eating wrong.”
Parents will say “You are living wrong.”
Your bartender will say “Excellent choice sir.”
There is a new movie out about a snowman who became a vampire. It is called “Frost bite”.
My son asked “Why do birds fly?” I replied “Because it is faster than walking…”
used to think I was indecisive but now I am not so sure..
My vacuum cleaner broke, now it just sits there collecting dust.
I attempted to organize a game of “hide and seek” but good players are hard to find.
You can never trust stairs because they are always up to something.
I told my wife “For the past 50 years all you have done is found mistakes in every thing I say.” She replied “That is 55 years dear.”