An ugly, scrawny man was riding his horse through the woods and came across a bottle. He rubbed it and a genie came out saying he'd grant the man three wishes.
"My first wish is that I want to be as handsome as Clark Gable, my second is that I want to be as buff as Arnold Schwarzenegger, and my third is to have huge privates exactly like the horse I'm riding."
The genie tells him to go home and look in the mirror. He gets home, looks in the mirror, and sees that his face is as handsome as Clark Gable. He takes off his shirt and see that he is just as muscular as Arnold Schwarzenegger. He drops his pants and realizes that he was riding the mare.