my late dad

[bottjernat1 2,189]

This was my late dad Craig Bottjer. Unfortunately he took his life in september of 2016 I miss him everyday. He was the garden tractor and 2 cylinder john deere guy around our area. I am so glad to have dads friends a real good group of folks. Dad knew just about anything you wanted to know about wheelhorses, deeres,cubs you name it. I ended up with lots of dads knowledge and love for these old machines. I now work on this stuff when i am not working and do repairs for others and share my knowledge. I also kept alot of my dads equipment. 

[Chris G 3,274]

Very sorry to hear this. But at least you got some good memories, knowledge and a shared love of tractors to keep him around. Also I got to ask Is that tractor a Baird Beaver in the second pic? Those were a pretty cool machine.

[bottjernat1 2,189]

9 minutes ago, Chris G said:

Very sorry to hear this. But at least you got some good memories, knowledge and a shared love of tractors to keep him around. Also I got to ask Is that tractor a Baird Beaver in the second pic? Those were a pretty cool machine.

Yes it sure is! My dad had 12 of these we were the only folks within 100 miles of us that had these. I sold all but 3. they all went to close friends of my dads. I have 1 with a hood fully restored.

[midpack 804]

Thanks for sharing!

 

My dad has been gone for 32 years and I still miss him everyday

[bottjernat1 2,189]

Here is the one that is restored a before and after. this one has the same concept of the tiller steering but instead of the post moving it is fixed and there is aircraft cable running down the tube running to a gear box.

[Razorback 1,032]

Sorry to hear that you lost your dad. I cannot imagine......  And my heart breaks for anyone who gets to the point of that being a viable option.

 

It's great that you can carry on your dad's knowledge and helpfulness.

[formariz 11,849]

I am sad to hear of your loss and the circumstances. I am happy however that you are here with us preserving and honoring what was important to him. His memory and influence on you will never go away so in a way he is always there. Although his love for those machines is only part of the legacy he left you it is pretty important and great of you to continue it. I always tell my children that when I am gone, please respect those things which were dear to me and if they do not want them don't let them rot away and place them with someone who will value and appreciate them. Good to have you here.

[bottjernat1 2,189]

6 minutes ago, formariz said:

I am sad to hear of your loss and the circumstances. I am happy however that you are here with us preserving and honoring what was important to him. His memory and influence on you will never go away so in a way he is always there. Although his love for those machines is only part of the legacy he left you it is pretty important and great of you to continue it. I always tell my children that when I am gone, please respect those things which were dear to me and if they do not want them don't let them rot away and place them with someone who will value and appreciate them. Good to have you here.

Thank you and i fully agree i knew it would be stupid to keep it all i would never get to everything my dad worked at the local scrap yard for almost 30 years so anything he liked he brought home. We had 14 big tractors. and around 70 garden tractors,pieces parts and attachments. only sad thing is i worked really hard to save my dads stuff and my adopted mom and sisters now have most of it. all the hard work i did and my wife and 3 girls did. they have taken away from us. Oh well i still have alot of stuff my dad loved and we love. it has been a hard 2 years and 3 months. It is ok tho i have some of my dads stuff and his ashes so that is all i care about. 

[953 nut 51,486]

1 hour ago, bottjernat1 said:

i still have alot of stuff my dad loved and we love

        The most precious possessions we have are the loving memories of those who are no longer with us. Glad to know that his friends also are able to have some of his prized tractors.              

[LengerichKA88 1,881]

My dad took his life in 2004, so I understand your pain. I was 16 at the time, 30 now, and some days it feels like I just got the news. There are days I’m still angry at him. There are days I understand and forgive him. And then there are the days that a boy just wants his dad and the “missing” them is all that you can think about. Its the little things that make you remember... we were at a funeral recently and my aunt was keeping an eye on my son. One of her aunts asked who he (my son) was and my aunt said “This is Marcus’ grandson.” I about lost it. 

I don’t have many tangible things of my father’s that I was able to hold on to and cherish, and that’s okay. You’re lucky that you have meaningful things to hold onto that we’re of intrest to both of you and that you enjoyed together. 

It’s really easy to get lost in the sadness of what isn’t and can’t be. On days you think “Dad would’ve enjoyed this” or something makes you miss him because you feel like he should be there for it, remember the things he was there for. Remember what you did get to do with him, the experiences you shared, the time together. 

Nothing can ever replace or bring back the ones we miss, but it’s up to use to not get mired in the saddness that we feel, because they wouldn’t want that for us. 

If you ever want to talk, I’ve got an ear you can borrow. 

[bc.gold 3,399]

My father the day he was discharged from the hospital after having prostrate removed and colostomy surgery hoped onto the lawnmower a buddy who came into the yard shortly after told me what a jerk I was for standing there watching the old man cut the grass.

 

Told my buddy that the old man was doing as he pleased and that there was no way I would interfere with that, but he was welcome to try and take the mower away from my dad.

 

That fall my dad was in pretty rough shape but he's outside sitting on an old chair pruning his grape vines, the next spring I had planted his garden and he's out there dragging himself along on his side pulling weeds.

 

 

[bottjernat1 2,189]

3 hours ago, KyleLengerich said:

My dad took his life in 2004, so I understand your pain. I was 16 at the time, 30 now, and some days it feels like I just got the news. There are days I’m still angry at him. There are days I understand and forgive him. And then there are the days that a boy just wants his dad and the “missing” them is all that you can think about. Its the little things that make you remember... we were at a funeral recently and my aunt was keeping an eye on my son. One of her aunts asked who he (my son) was and my aunt said “This is Marcus’ grandson.” I about lost it. 

I don’t have many tangible things of my father’s that I was able to hold on to and cherish, and that’s okay. You’re lucky that you have meaningful things to hold onto that we’re of intrest to both of you and that you enjoyed together. 

It’s really easy to get lost in the sadness of what isn’t and can’t be. On days you think “Dad would’ve enjoyed this” or something makes you miss him because you feel like he should be there for it, remember the things he was there for. Remember what you did get to do with him, the experiences you shared, the time together. 

Nothing can ever replace or bring back the ones we miss, but it’s up to use to not get mired in the saddness that we feel, because they wouldn’t want that for us. 

If you ever want to talk, I’ve got an ear you can borrow. 

Thank you so very much and i may take you up on that offer about talking! I am very thankful to have my dads friends and tractor buddies. and since the rest of my adopted family quit talking to me and my wife and kids. i do have my biological brothers and uncle troy. i feel just fine most of the time and then when someone says stuff about my dad then i get all choked up like it just happened. the whole situation that lead up to it was terrible and i dont wish this on anybody. never thought i would ever have to deal with this sort of thing ever! it shocked us all. besides his garden tractors and stuff i also have his ashes. 

[LengerichKA88 1,881]

1 minute ago, bottjernat1 said:

Thank you so very much and i may take you up on that offer about talking! I am very thankful to have my dads friends and tractor buddies. and since the rest of my adopted family quit talking to me and my wife and kids. i do have my biological brothers and uncle troy. i feel just fine most of the time and then when someone says stuff about my dad then i get all choked up like it just happened. the whole situation that lead up to it was terrible and i dont wish this on anybody. never thought i would ever have to deal with this sort of thing ever! it shocked us all. besides his garden tractors and stuff i also have his ashes. 

The unfortunate thing about suicide is that it can cause huge rifts in families that hurt beyond the immediate loss. I’ve dealt with that as well, and it sucks. The best thing you can do for yourself is to separate it all in your own head. It’s really easy to allow the new found division and all of the secondary and tertiary “hurts” that are the ripples of the shared pain to end up becoming, in your mind, “his fault”. It’s really hard to do at times, but looking at those crappy situations as individual scenarios helps in two ways.1) It removes him from the current problem, which then doesn’t tie his memory to the current negatives. This is what leads to eventually blaming the person for current problems. It also makes it more difficult to move forward (you never “move past”) when the persons memory and your thoughts and feelings about them in that moment are surrounded by all these negatives. Do that often enough, and anything tied to them will become a negative.    2) It removes a mass amount of the emotion tied to the scenario, for you. You won’t be dealing with those situations and scenarios already feeling whatever you’re feeling about your dad at that moment. 

 

I may have gotten a little redundant, and I apologize, my brain works faster than my fingers can move, and I’ve had to stop and address other things as I was typing, so my train of thought got off the rails. Send me a PM if you want to chat, no pressure, what ever works for you.  My family is originally from up by you (Decatur, Ft. Wayne, New Haven, etc), so I’m familiar with where you’re at. Was in Geneva a few weeks ago lol  Next time I head north and have some time I can stop and you can show me how that Beaver works, cause I’ve never seen one before today haha. 

 

I know this time of year is rough, my thoughts and prayers go with you and yours.